Not Just a Bunch of Hocus Pocus: How to Ask for Someone's Time

Not Just a Bunch of Hocus Pocus: How to Ask for Someone’s Time

There are many moments in our careers when we seek the help of someone we look up to. Perhaps they are in a room we want to enter, or are part of the bigger pond we have just hopped into. Even though it can be feel scary to approach someone we admire and ask for their time, making sure we have the correct ingredients to throw in the proposition potion can make all the difference.

1. Be yourself.

Sometimes people err on the side of too polite or business-y, in the hopes of coming across as a professional. Although the intention may be good, the result is that whomever we’re trying to contact doesn’t get a feel for who we are.

Think about it from the other person’s perspective. If they are a public figure, they might have people reaching out to them constantly. Having a lot of people who want something from you can feel overwhelming, even if it’s flattering. Help yourself stand out from the crowd by writing in your natural voice, without being too stiff.

Not Great:
The podcast episode about hosting large holiday events for generating new business contacts was inspiring. Could you tell me more about how you do it?

Better:

I caught your podcast episode about using holiday events for lead gen. I also love that your sisters help out. As someone who is a Halloween Queen and runs a small team with my siblings, I was inspired! Could you tell me more?

2. Show you know who the person is.

First and foremost, make sure that you address the person by their preferred name and spell it correctly. If they are an Ashley but we write to an Ashleigh, that’ll be a big and immediate stop sign. Why? It shows we have little respect for them—take the time to look up the person’s website, blog, or any other available materials to see how they refer to themselves.

Next, when you are making your request, do so in a way that shows the other person that you are familiar with who they are and what they do. If correct spelling shows that you care, then providing context shows that you’re considerate. You’re being purposeful in your ask because you believe that there’s a real chance that this person is uniquely suited to assist you.

Not Great:

Dear Mrs. Sanderson,

The podcast episode about hosting large holiday events for generating new business contacts was inspiring. Could you tell me more about how you do it?

Better:

Hello Winifred,

I caught your podcast episode about using holiday events for lead gen. Normally, advice around holidays and creating business focuses on Christmas or Thanksgiving. I appreciated that your event was a haunted corn maze and pumpkin patch! How creative! I also love that your sisters, Mary and Sarah, help out. As someone who is a Halloween Queen and runs a small team with my siblings, I was inspired! Could you tell me more? 

3. Make the specific ask.

Everyone likes to know what we’re getting into. Make sure that you are clearly stating what you’re asking for. If you’re asking to talk or meet up, share what it is you’ll be talking about. Not only does this again show that you’re prepared, but it illustrates you’ll be respectful of the other person’s time.

Not Great:

Dear Mrs. Winifred Sanderson,

The podcast episode about hosting large holiday events for generating new business contacts was inspiring. Could you tell me more about how you do it? Maybe we could meet up for coffee?

Better:

Hello Winnie,

I caught your podcast episode about using holiday events for lead gen. Normally, advice around holidays and creating business focuses on Christmas or Thanksgiving. I appreciated that your event was a haunted corn maze and pumpkin patch! How creative! I also love that your sisters, Mary and Sarah, help out. As someone who is a Halloween Queen and runs a small team with my siblings, I was inspired! Could you tell me more about how you partner with local Salem vendors to share the event costs?

4. Suggest a timeline.

Open-ended requests often remain unfulfilled. Why? Because there’s a tendency for all of us to think that we’ll get to that ask or task later. Putting a realistic timeline on your request makes it easier to get a slot on someone else’s calendar.

Not Great:

Dear Mrs. Sanderson,

The podcast episode about hosting large holiday events for generating new business contacts was inspiring. Could you tell me more about how you do it? Maybe we could meet up for coffee and I can pick your brain?

Better:

Hello Winnie,  

I caught your podcast episode about using holiday events for lead gen. Normally, advice around holidays and creating business focuses on Christmas or Thanksgiving. I appreciated that your event was a haunted corn maze and pumpkin patch! How creative! I also love that your sisters, Mary and Sarah, help out. As someone who is a Halloween Queen and runs a small team with my siblings, I was inspired! Could you tell me more about how you partner with local Salem vendors to share the event costs? Do you have any availability before the next full moon? I’m free next Friday, the 13^th, from sunset until just before midnight.

A few things to note:

• Although these “better” examples are a longer than the “not great” ones, try to keep your message concise. A too-long request will seem like a lot to deal with, even if your actual ask is quite small. Say enough to say what you need to, but not much more!

• You may never hear back from the person you’re reaching out to. That’s okay! People are busy, inboxes go unmonitored, and sometimes asks go unanswered. Virgins never get around to lighting black flame candles. C’est la vie.

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